IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize