the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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