Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
