And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize