hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
