My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I faked an abortion last night.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
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