Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize