I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
