Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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