Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
