worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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