Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Randomize
