Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
How's work?
Spinning.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
