Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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