just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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