Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
