you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize