Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
