i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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