i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
