I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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