My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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