Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
