Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
