Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
