His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
