Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My first STD was from a foam party
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
