worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
