I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
