the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
this beer tastes like vomit already
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
