that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Randomize
