If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
