Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
