Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
where am i from again
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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