You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
