found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
where does the pee come out of this thing
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
