sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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