do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
FUCK WHALES
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
