i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
