awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
