yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
