Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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