Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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