Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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