Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
