if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
