As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
