I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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