My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
