Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize