I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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