Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
