If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
