Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
