well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Are my feet made of real feet?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
