..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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