there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
