Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
She announced her abortion via fbk
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
