Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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