Apparently you make a good broom.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
wow bdsm is so cute
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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