Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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