nut hugger
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
where are you?
Hypothermia
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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