She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
